Boyling over

I gotta be honest. I'm kinda ticked. Most of us have probably seen this by now. A unknown never been kissed 47 year old UGLY woman dares try her hand at singing. Reports have recently come out that she lied about never being kissed and has actually done some singing here and there. Still, people just couldn't believe their ears that an ugly woman could possess that kind of beauty. Ok, I'm human, I was surprised too but I guess that's why I'm so ticked. How have we digressed so far that the physical appearance of a person (especially a woman) is an immediate indication of their level of talent? As Susan began to sing everyone was SHOCKED, like, WHAT THE HECK? She can sing? But she's so ugly?? Its insane when you think about it. Still, most North Americans seem to function like this.

What really got my blood boiling is reading that Susan got a makeover. Poor girl. Obviously now that she can carry a tune she has to be attractive - especially if she want so be successful. I'm not ususally an angry sort of a guy but for some reason this got to me. Maybe its the injustice of it all. Either way, this has made me reflect even more on beauty in our culture and the implications for future generations, like Maddie and Lex for instance. What are we teaching them?

Before I leave you, I wanted to share this piece of genius satire written by the award winning comic writer Andy Borrowitz. His pieces frequently appear in The New Yorker. Remember its satire.

Enjoy! I always do.

- John

The success of singer Susan Boyle on the reality show "Britain's Got Talent" has caused both television networks and their viewers to reconsider the intrinsic value of ugly people, media experts say. In living rooms around the world as well as in the executive suites of media giants, those exposed to the Susan Boyle phenomenon are grappling with the paradox - thought impossible up until now - that an ugly person could be talented.

In New York, NBC chief Jeff Zucker confirmed that his network was "seriously considering" lifting its official ban against featuring unattractive people on the air."For years, the letters NBC have stood for ‘No Butt-ugly Characters,'" Mr. Zucker said. "We're beginning to re-think that."
Jenifer Genterson, a news anchor from Abilene, Texas, is just one of a chorus of beautiful TV talking heads who have been startled and inspired by the surprising presence of talent in an ugly person.

"In the TV business, we're told that beauty is everything," Ms. Genterson said. "But Susan Boyle has shown us that ugly people have the right to live, too."But Professor Davis Logsdon, who studies the rare occurrences of ugly people in the media at the University of Minnesota's School of Communications, warns that the isolated example of Ms. Boyle may give ugly people around the world too much hope.

"The fact is, only one in a million ugly people will ever get on TV," said Professor Logsdon. "Most of them will wind up in academia."Elsewhere, one day after lifting travel restrictions on Cuba, President Obama said he would send Vice President Joe Biden there for the next four years.

Ethan's the man!

Yesterday Ethan took his 6 inch home-made Kub Kar and calmly dispatched all the other Kubs. (not that I'm competitive.. .) He had 28 races in total and remarkably finished first in every single race. What a guy! He's currently in talks with Nascar.

John

P.S. A Kub Kar is a 6 inch wooden car with plastic wheels designed and fashioned by Ethan over weeks at Kubs (boy scouts). It cannot weigh more than 5 ounces and the judges take this very seriously, weighing each car before they race.

Surfin Schamaz

If a Surfin Dude can be white, hairy, have an inner flab tube around his waist and kneel rather then stand on his surf board, I was that Dude. Two weeks ago we headed to the miles of beach that is Tofino. Because that's what unemployed people do, that's why. We stayed in Ucluelet, 20min from Tofino because it was half the price yet twice the class (we discovered). We stayed at the Terrace Beach Resort, owned and operated by Jason Priestly himself. Sorry Aisling, the Reverend didn't make an apperance although apparently his father did. For what it's worth, JP made a wise career move because his places are booked solid and you see why when you walk in. Decked out in a rustic yet homey style complete with a TV/DVD inside and a hot tub on the deck. Most evenings were spent wrinkling up in the hot tub and watching the sun set over the ocean. (while in the hot tub)

We made the decision to go surfing the second day. There we stood, 10 clueless white unimpressives nodding cooling at the surfer dude "yeah man, 10 surfboards and wetsuits to go." As we left with our gear I asked him sheepishly where he suggested we change. He said "just change at the beach, that's what all the surfers do." After driving back to the resort we squeezed, yanked and finally stretched ourselves into our suits. Ever been hugged far too long? By a large someone? That's a wetsuit.

Arriving at the Ocean we grabbed our boards and headed for the beach. By the time we arrived at the water's edge we were all panting, heavy boards eh? We stood watching the force coming at us then spontaneously did the cool beachy run into the water trick. An hour later we were collapsed on the rocks having been beaten and battered by an unstoppable liguid rebel force. Surfing is like any sport, the pros make it look like any moron can do it. Well, I tried for 2 days and never stood up once. I did perfECt the kneel surf. Felt pretty proud. Felt even more exhausted though. Who knew lying on a board in water could feel like like summiting Mount Kilamajaro. So, besides surfing in Tofino, unemployment has been allright. Truth is, sometimes you just need to take the edge off. Relax. And who better to help then The Reverend, Mr. Priestly himself.

Its been awhile since I've written on this Crack, almost 3 weeks, so here's a schamaz of stuff I've wanted to comment on:

1. For the 3rd straight year my Edmonton Oilers missed the Stanley Cup Playoffs. There are few things I love more than watching my favorite sports team compete in the playoffs. They had the players but lacked the team. Maybe Mac T getting fired will be the start of something special. Am I still gonna watch? Yeah, the family on the island are huge Canuck fans so we'll be watching all the games together. I pick the Capitals to win it all but as a Canadian, I'll say go Canucks!

2. Somehow I'm always in the room whenever American Idol is on so unfortuantely I'm in the know this year. For what its worth, just give it to Adam already and allow Paula to finally park in that special zone. She deserves it. She really does.

3. I'm on EI, that's how we're doing it.

4. The past 5 movies Angie and I have watched have been incredible. Adaptation, Being John Malcovich, Road to Perdition, Doubt and The Reader (especially good). I'm not recommending these necessarily (unless you like them and aren't offended by any of the stuff)

5. Let Ovechkin celebrate however he wants, he deserves it. And your just jealous.

6. I'm in a family book club so I just finished reading The Grapes of Wrath. Steinbeck is a poet among other things. Besides that, I can't think of a better book for people to read in these times, you know, with our big recession and all. cough. Next book: A Complicated Kindness (another gem)

7. I'm currently exploring some exciting ministry opportunities out east. Its been far too long, I can't wait to get back in the saddle.

8. Ethan and I have been enjoying Cubs. Tomorrow we race in a city wide Cub Car rally. The little 6 inch home-made cars, you know the ones.

9. Maddie and I started playing bball together. She's a natural. Really is. Reminds me of myself when I was that age and a. . . girl apparently, should have thought that one through.

10. Alexa taught herself how to ride a big persons bike. One day she just went outside and the next thing I knew she was flying past the window. She's one of the bravest girls I know.

11. Angie continues to love and kiss and support her unemployed husband. Who could ask for anything more? ("I could, get a job why don't you ya bum?" - Love Angie)

That's good for now.

John